trapped

much as i would like to now, i know there is no way back.

from the minute i chose to set foot upon this route, i knew all along that its a one way route without any u-turns and the only way out possible is one where you move on till the end and either fall off the cliff or you move on swiftly and smoothly with and go on your way.

not saying that i am regretting my choice cos i promised i never would but i am kinda sick of this route that doesn't change in scenery and gets harder to move on as you approach the end. i find myself steering towards the cliff where i know i mustn't fall off.

seriously, i am super sick but knowing its a one way route there is no other way then to stick through it. hopefully miracles do happen and i can steer myself back on to the right track. i never believed in miracles but now i am hoping for one with all my might and i am still trudging on harder than ever...

total randomness

i don't get why i am back here ever so often this few days. i guess its just the holiday period that gets me to want to blog and similarly the schooling period that gets me to not want to blog. right, i suppose i am getting incoherent again.

recently, i think i am turning into a 'health' freak. From oat and rasin quakers biscuit to horlicks to rice crisps to cranberries to healthier choice apple juice. what's with all the better alternative produts.

feel super random, i want to write but i cannot consolidate my thoughts for now and its like really hard to formulate things to write now. anyway school's starting tmr, dreading the part about getting back the prelim results just like always. Slogging through my econs homework now. so that's all for now, i doubt i'll be coming back soon cos school just drains me out everyday that i dun have the heart to write anything so well till then =)

thanksgiving 4

On tuesday evening, we had an arranged dinner with a pretty weird combination of people namely, adeline, liying, audrey, brenda, gilbert, junjie, kk, bryant, irene and me. (you see why its weird, cos there is no specific group that you find all of us in) Anyway putting that aside, we went to kim's family restaruant. Actually we kinda deserts first at Udders cos not everyone was there at first. Oh and when we went onto the restaruant finally, it was so hard to order so since we girls hate being confused we just choose our main dish and left the rest to the guys. So while the uncle was confusing and getting confused by the guys, we were camwhoring already.

Anyway after the dinner Audrey and Adeline took out a slice of cake and they started to sing the borthday song for me. SO after passing the huge slice of cake around and finishing it we managed to take a gropu photo with much difficulty that i dun feel like describing so just note that its taken with much difficulty. So when we went nad pay for the meal the gave me my present with yet another round of birthday song.

So thank you guys for bothering to celebrate my birthday despite some of you guys not being very close with me. So hereby i am extending my sincerest and heartfelt thanks though i am pretty sure you guys won't get to see it. =)

Anyway, thats marks the end of my 18th birthday celebrations and I want to extend special thanks to ADELINE WONG JING YI and OW LIYING for being there for all three of my birthday celebartions. REally thank you very very much =)

thanksgiving 3

Alright to start off i know it for a fact that its kinda stupid to post like two individual post daily but being the organization freak that i am, i just cannot stand putting the two post together cos they just don't link and its stupider to put them together so i choose to do the less stupid of the both. Anyway before i officially start, i have decided to post another post after this so its three in a day =)

(after the long intro i actually paused for like 20 secs cos i conviniently forgot what i wanted to post about initially, ok now i rmb)

Right, on Monday(6th sept) I officially turned 18 in the eyes of law and in other words to the pubs, singapore pools and the cigarettes sellers, cinemas and so on and so forth, i am perfectly legal though i don't really give a dammm except for the cinemas part since i am such a law abiding citizen =) muhahahaha (ok i know i am getting lame)

So on Monday, the jolene, adeline, and liying decided to help me celebrate my birthday with a kept secret itinery though it seems to me liying was equally surprise by the itinery cos she totally forgot about it. Anyway we went to Bugis to shop for a while and they all bought something except for me, i was just happily looking around as usual. Then because they we complaining of hunger ever so constanly, we decided to go for lunch and so we wnet to Jack's Place at marina square. The whole place was practicall empty except for the four of us and so being us we camwhore the entire meal away. Oh and when the meal ended, Adeline trick me into the toilet which is a fairly old trick that apparently works everytime while jolene and liying prepared the cake. The best part is Adeline was suprprised that the cake wasn't out when we came back and suddenly Jack's Place was blasted with the birthday song and the waitress brought out my cake. Ok i was like totally surprise by the whole birthday song thing so thank you for the sweet waitress who suggested it.

After that we went to the helix bridge which was like super windy so haha liying and adeline were busy trying to push down their skirts. We like camwhore again as usual and made our way to the marina bay sands shopping centre to look for the sampan as adeline suggested. And we took a picture with the casino, outside of course. So we decided to leave after a while and so we wnet to the busstop to explore our route back home. And at the busstop they decided to give me my present which consist of a necklace and starbucks voucher cos i think they always see me drinking coffee and a card from each of them.

So THANKS A LOT GIRLS! Seriously thank you for all the time and effort spent on my birthday from the planning to the meeting up to get my present and to taking time out of your busy schedule to spend the whole monday with me. Ok i sound like a broken record but once again THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart and love you girls =)

Oh and wanna thank everyone who wished me happy birthday on facebook or through SMS
whether or not we know each other really well. Thank you for the thought and well thank you.

Reflection

I know i still have a few birthday posts that are due but i have yet to write them but i promoise i will post them in the next few days before the holidays end and i get too busy to pop by.

Anyway just happen to hear of such questions recently, 'Is this really what you want for the rest of your life?' 'Are you REALLY happy with how things are now?' and i think these have been the most popoular questions that one will usually pose to oneself just like a reflection process.

Well many points in life i have thought about such questions as well and to the first question i am pretty confident about my answer because i know this is not what i want for the rest of my life but i know this is a necessary step to what i want in the life. As i always say. i have a lot of things i want to acheive in life, i practically live my life as a dreamer and i am proud to be one becuase i have aims to work towards. Of course i wouldn't want to stay stagnant for the rest of my life but i am very sure i am on the right track now at least. Maybe my plans for the future wull not work out as smoothly as i want them to in the near future but i can say i know where i want to go and i know how to go about getting there.

As for the second question, seriously i don't know about it. I can't say i am the happiest at this point of my life bacause when you think back in time you always feel that the yester-days are happier no matter how rotten you feel then. i thik its just how realistic mankind are and how they are never happy with the status quo. Yet i can't say i am at my lowest point in life because i know i am not. So i guess i could say i am happy with how things currently are now or more accurately, i am content with my status quo. I know i can be happier or feel worse but i suppose contentment is always the best policy isn't it. So if you think contentment does not equate to being happy then i am not, if you think contenment is happiness itself then i am happy. As i've always insisted, its all a matter of prespective.

Right, i kinda sound too serious here but i just suddenly have this random thought so i thought i should post about it. This is just so me - forever random.

thanksgiving 2

Went to Vienna International Seafood and Tepanyaki Buffet for advance birthday lunch with my family this afternoon. Ate like a mighty lot and well pretty much eveything was nice. but was really guilty cos it was like 30 bucks for a meal each bue well enjoyed it. Kinda ended really full though i like did not eat much and i was like having digestive problems. After that went to East Coast Park and laze around for the entire day and my brother and I decided that to fully digest all the food we ate we will go swimming tmr morning bright and early but since he had school tmr, my father made an impromtu decision that the three of us should go swimming tonight. So we wnet swimming like at 7 plus and swan for like an hour. Saw like dead flies in the water and it was like yucks but i am really gald i went cos it kinda lessen the guilt for eating all the food this afternoon. So well yeah wanna thank my family for the lunch. and i am gonna end here.

by the way i will be turning 18 in like 1 hour and 20 mins time. =)

thanksgiving =)

though i'm not really in the mood to write anything much, i felt that there's a need for me to write about today. went to vivocity with the A01 people and walked around and camwhore at the roof garden till the guys come and then we spent a lot of times standing around to decide where to eat before we decided on carl's junior. Ate a box of chili cheese and beef fries and well it was too salty, too oily and well just too big a portion so i just managed to eat slightly more than half the box and i was like very full so i conveniently passed it to the guys. so after dinner we went to the roof top to celebrate jay's and my birthday with a not so secretive surprise celebration with two slices of cake which is like A01 tradition. so well thanks to all you people who tried to keep it as a secret though i think jay and i kinda figured it out all along but still thanks anyway for the effort. so after that we took like a few more pictures in which for one the guys tried to poke mt head and so i bend down and thus i dun think i am in the picture so i kinda spoiled it. anyway after that we spend a lot of time standing around to think of where to go next which is another A01 tradition cos we apparently spend half the time standing around being indecisive. eventually they went to isaac's house and adeline and i went home so here i am in the comfort of my own home typing this post with i think very little punctuation. i just dun feel like breaking up the sentence cos it just breaks my train of thought. i know if this is an essay of mine for school work i will definitely get criticize but here i am going to ignore all this rules but i do get why the teachers will scold me for it cos as you can tell my sentences can get really long without a single punctuation and i am like renowned in class for having ultimately small and not so spaced out handwriting. ok i think i am drifting off so i am going to stop here. but before i end thanks again people. =)