when insecurity overpowers peacefulness

Seriously, I don't the slightest idea why I am back here again and again staring at this empty space even though I have nothing much to write about. Its just like I have a lot of things that I would like to make known but yet when I come to this blank page awaiting me to fill it up with stories of my life, I can never seem to get started. I simply have no idea where and when to start and more often than not, I end up giving up and leaving this page as blank as it originally was. Perhaps it just shows how bad I am at expressing myself or maybe, I really don't have anything to write about.

Anyway, I have been feeling so empty ever since the holidays started not that I have absolutely nothing to do but even if my days are all filled up I just don't see the meaning in it. Its like living life to the best I can but there just seems to be something missing that I simply cannot figure out. Just like the sentence I always write in my blog, "Something is wrong but I don't know what". I guess I just someone super insecure and can never stand the days being all well and slack cause I will start thinking about every possible thing under the sun and get myself all screwed up. So yeah, maybe its just better for me to stay busy from the moment I wake up to the moment I flop onto the bed.


And this is exactly how I am feeling right now and though I am not in front of the mirror, this is probably what my expression looks like as I am typing.