To The Sweetest Girl, JOLENE YIP

To a girl that always has a smile upon her face that never fails to make things feel better regardless of her mood. To a girl who seldom gets angry and has the best temper despite things not going her way. To a girl who choose to keep things to herself just cause she does not want to bother anyone. To a girl that has always been there for her friends through thick and thin without uttering a single grumble. To the friend who I only got close to just cause by chance we were in the same small group for netball in NYAA, and by a stroke of good luck on my part that got into the same class as me in Sec 3. To the friend who always goes to the trouble to make sure I stay awake in lessons and always urge me to pay attention when we were sitting partners in class. To the friend who bothers to make me promise to do my work and listen in class all the way up to JC when it was not her obligation to do so. To the friend whom I can always rely on when the two others in the clique are in a state of total craziness. To the friend whom I know will just be a call away when I need here anytime and anywhere. To the friend who has always been by my side throughout these 6years of friendship. To the friend of the 7th year and counting.

THANK YOU AND HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY MY DEAR GIRL!!!

breaking routine

After all the ultimate cells rotting and mushroom growing period that my entire being went through these few weeks, I have decided with upmost seriousness that I need to do something to turn my life around. Time to harvest all the mould and mushroom and clear out the space to do something useful and meaningful I guess.

So, I am going to put in whatever efforts I have to look for more tuition to teach and fill up my days to the brim. Oh and first and foremost, i shall have to mug really hard for my FTT that is tmr and after that I shall fill my days with driving lessons as well and get my driving lessons as soon a possible.

Oh and I think I should start praying for my A-Levels results that is due I don't know when, but anyway its high time to start at it. So yeah whatever happens next I don't know and don't want to know but I just wanna fill up all my days.

Yeah another big major majestic issue of mine is that I should stop sleeping at unearthly hours like 3 plus in the morning and wake up when the sun is high high high in the sky. So my dearest body clock, start repairing yourself and please feel sleepy at like as the latest limit and not only feel like resting at 3 plus will ya.

Right, end of an incoherent post cos I am blasting music at full blast in my ears through my earphones and I am still not fully awake enough to start a fully coherent post so bear with me yeah. Byes!

PS: I hate paragraphing but to make reading more possible, I am going to for once break my post into paragraphs anyhow I like and if they don't make sense, don't fret that head of yours yeah, its just me...

when insecurity overpowers peacefulness

Seriously, I don't the slightest idea why I am back here again and again staring at this empty space even though I have nothing much to write about. Its just like I have a lot of things that I would like to make known but yet when I come to this blank page awaiting me to fill it up with stories of my life, I can never seem to get started. I simply have no idea where and when to start and more often than not, I end up giving up and leaving this page as blank as it originally was. Perhaps it just shows how bad I am at expressing myself or maybe, I really don't have anything to write about.

Anyway, I have been feeling so empty ever since the holidays started not that I have absolutely nothing to do but even if my days are all filled up I just don't see the meaning in it. Its like living life to the best I can but there just seems to be something missing that I simply cannot figure out. Just like the sentence I always write in my blog, "Something is wrong but I don't know what". I guess I just someone super insecure and can never stand the days being all well and slack cause I will start thinking about every possible thing under the sun and get myself all screwed up. So yeah, maybe its just better for me to stay busy from the moment I wake up to the moment I flop onto the bed.


And this is exactly how I am feeling right now and though I am not in front of the mirror, this is probably what my expression looks like as I am typing.

Uniqueness

Actually to tell the truth (or in this case to "type" the truth), I have not the slightest idea why I am back here again because I don't seem to have anything to blog about, or rather I don't feel like blogging about anything. Don't ask why but I have never really had the ability to continue for long any form of diary writing be it in the form of notebooks or the cold hard computer screen. It just goes to explain why I have thrown away so many diaries and deleted a couple of blogs over the years. I will get back the passion once again just to lose it. Just don't like to write about all the heartfelt stuffs just cause I don't like the feeling of my innermost feelings being exposed and no point writing a plan of my entire day which is like kind of stupid. Heh, I think I am just real weird, proven by the many times people always tells me that I'm a weird person. Well lets just get this cleared, I'm might think in a different way but I'm positive I'm not weird, I'm just unique so yeah thats that.

Seriously, I hate the feeling of crapping here so well I'm off to study for the stupid BTT which is like tmr...

how's life?

Every once in a while, I feel I need to be organised with my thoughts especially now when I'm just living life anyway it goes. So yes, some form of organisation is required to come to the rescue just like the almighty powerpuff girls.

1) I miss school. Yes, do not doubt what your eyes are sending to your brain, I the awfully school hater MISSES SCHOOL! Well, I need something to occupy my time. And having been schooled for the past more than a decade, I kinda feel empty and lost now that I am freed from it after about almost a lifetime of trying to get away from it. Sad to say, I envy the kids that get to go back to school now that its the start of the year. And you people in school uniform still, treasure your time now...

2) Though I've just been back from Thailand, I'm starting to yearn for another trip overseas. Well who can resist overseas trips that allow one temporary at least forget all your troubles and all that you're fretting about.

3) My BTT is coming and I'm no where near prepared for it. So well Miss Brain-Of-Mine, lets make a deal, since you've been rotting for so long, why not just start working for now for a while and I promise, I'll let you rest after this being the nice person that I am.

4) And its high time that I freaking get a job to occupy my time and to feed my daily expenses that are rapidly increasing all thanks to the lack of student fare and the lack of cheapo school food.

5) Actually I don't really know why I wanna make this a point but I think its time I put myself to bed cause its like 2am now and I have to go give tuition tmr at 10am and yawning in front of your student according to my limited knowledge is not exactly the first impression one might like to leave.

6) So I'm going to sleep now and oh ya tmr's steamboat at Isaac's house with the A01 people. Ending now just cause I think this is getting lame... Bye...