sick and tired of studying

Yo Miss-I'm-So-Gonna-Whine-Again is back in action. Well the name is not that hard to understand given all my content in the previous blog posts. But, that cannot be helped seriously because which 18 year old taking her A-levels in the right frame of mind will say "I very happy now, very excited for A-levels" and go on about all the happy stuffs. If there is someone like that then according to my still functioning brain, he/she should either have fried his/her brains while mugging too hard for A-levels or maybe he/she is just super prepared for it. Most probably, it would be the former I suppose. Anyway enough of this.

I seriously suspect that if I were to remove all the staples and binders off my notes and single out each sheet I world most probably be able to paper my room and maybe if I feel kind enough I might be able to have enough to paper my neighbour's room as well (don't ask why I would like to paper my neighbour's room, I am just trying to show the amount of papers I have). And when its nearing the exams period, my not so in the right state brain would start thinking about seriously unrelated and weird things such as papering my neighbour's room with my notes. Like who in the right state of mind would do that and which neighbour would allow you to do that.

Anyway today's PSI is 108 which is like unhealthy and might cause some respiratory problems. So please please please anyone stop the farmers in Indonesia from burning their lands to clear them anymore, if someone is kind enough, please send them a couple of bulldozers or a couple of thousands of bulls that will go running wild in their forest and destroy everything or something along that lines. Its just irritating to see the sky forever foggy like you have some eye problem and you cannot see clearly and worst of all your eyes will itch after constant exposure and then you will seriously get some eye problem and maybe after the haze is gone, your world will still be foggy. (its exaggerated but get my point?)

Anyway, I am getting lazy to type, so ta ta for now!

imagination

Imagine your are now granted the ability to turn back time to any point in time as you wish. Now the question is which point in time would you want to return to? Being true to the very me, I would have to admit if you pose me this scenario and question at any other time, I would have a whole array of answers that will most probably be related to having fun or resolving any bad happenings. But now, my answer will be I want to take my current experience with me and go back to two years ago where I started my junior college education. Why? Simple. Cos I am now having regrets now for all the work I have not done (refused to do actually), lessons I have not paid attention to (talking all the way) and all the times I fell asleep in the lectures (which is almost every one of them i had) and the revision I had not done when I had the time (playing with mr procrastination all the time). But well, what's the point in thinkingof all these hypothetical questions that will never be materialized.

Now, I am not lammenting anymore, having regrets but not wallowing in them anymore, not whinning and grumbling anymore. I want to make these three weeks count whether or not I have woken up in time I want to make them the most useful three weeks I can get. Get my point? So I am going into full mugger mode now. Wish me luck!

learnings

Tomorrow's the last day of official lessons before we plunge ourselves into the anti-social or as you may prefer mugger-style three weeks before we plop our butts in to examination halls and finish off our A-levels with a bang (or maybe not). Anyway that kind of marks the end of our less than 2 years journey in a junior college. Sitting around in school waiting for consultations and someone asked "what have you learnt for these two years in JC?" I suppose most people have yet to or have never thought of this question, its just two short years or to be exact barely two years which gives rise to another question "how much can you take away in this short period of time?" Well i would say much has been and can be learnt and taken away just as we do from every institution we graduate from.

Graduating from primary school, we learnt the many basic knowledge that builds tour foundation intellectually and mentally. On a more life-lessons point of view, we learnt that all goods things must come to an end no matter how much we are against the fact, we first learnt of separation from friends and the leaving behind of memories we hold dear. More importantly, we learnt to make our first major choice in life which is choosing which secondary school to go to. We took away life lessons that had the biggest impact on us for the past 12 years of existence.

Graduating from secondary school, we learnt even more knowledge and we took away much intellect satisfaction. But more importantly, we learnt of making new friends, getting used to a totally different environment, taste much more freedom we ever had or dream of be it in school or at home. We learnt the importance of friendship and well maybe some of us first tasted relationships. We learnt that with freedom comes responsibility that we have to bear upon our shoulders because we do not get as protected anymore. We learnt to discover the many wonders of ourselves and the people around us. We took away friends that will always be dear to us and friendships that will last us for life.

And now almost graduating from a junior college, i might not be fully aware yet of what i have learnt and can take away. But for sure i know, this is the period of time where we got a different definition for many things especially maturity. We learnt to see things from different point of views and we learn to judge not based on the superficial but what is deep down inside. Not to forget, the academic things we learnt and take with us for life. But personally, i feel we have finally grasp the concept of how time flies and how to cherish what you have before its too late. Two years passed just like that and here we are nearing the end of the one way street moving on to the crossroads where we will be going different ways.

Its hard to conceptualize what we have learnt on a institutional basis if you get what i mean. We are graduating every day you see from events form the day itself and even from the smallest mistake. So instead of asking yourself what have you learnt for the past __ years evey few years. Why not ask yourself what have you learnt today. Anyway putting aside all the whining, regrets and crap these two years, i have enjoy this period of time and grown much literally and figuratively. So well i will miss these years and they will always remain as fond memories.

update!

well i know at this time i shouldn't be here but then i decided to write something since i am on the computer researching for my GP essay. i know it must be going on in your head like " OMG when does esther ever puts in that much effort into an essay or even any school work that she can easily gloss over " but people do change if the hard fact haven't hit you straight in the face. i am like putting in a lot of effort into my work now cos whats the point of doing so many essays when all you are gonna do is crap through the whole thing. it will most probably clog up your entire brain with crap that will only be applicable when you are back-facing the toilet bowl. a moment of realisation i should say that my past ways were not meant to be continued.

well its like 4 more weeks left to the start of A-levels and its been a busy time or should i say one of teh busiest time of my life up till now. there are tons of essay, sbqs, case studies, outlines and revision to be done i such a short period of time. compared to how i have been slacking in year 1 and still managed to get promoted, i can safely proclaim year 2 in a JC is no joke. you bum around and thats it you screwed and i am serious. i am paying for what i not done in year 1 and its a dear price to pay and a route entrenced with regrets. (it may sound exaggerated but if you are standing where i am now, i am sure this is how it feels)

but the perk of it is after the 2 months to the end of my A-levels, i have many things planned to motivate me to move on. first there will be prom then the next day it will be A01 chalet then aound 11 days later it will be 4/2 chalet and then about 3 days later it will be my family holiday to thailand which will end on the 1st of jan in 2011. then hopefully after new year,the A01 girls will be off on a trip to taiwan which is still pending for now. but thats all gonna happen after my A-levels so no point in thinking about them now.

for now i shall be a mugger and break my usual life routine. wish me luck! =)

food for thought!

There's always a little truth behind every "just kidding".
A little knowledge behind every "I don't know"
A little emotion behind every "I don't care"
And a little pain behind every "it's okay"

Just found this off a facebook like page. Isn't it simply amazing how revealing a bit of observation can get? The starking truths behind these four simply sentences may not make a difference to you but it will make a world of difference for some other.